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- Subject: Space Aliens & cows
- To: techsup!trsvax!microsoft!decwrl!mejac!eniac (Eniac Mailing List)
-
- a followup on space alien cows...
-
- From: newcomb@world.std.com (Donald R Newcomb)
- >From: Huw Jonathan Rogers <huw@spls5.ccs.mt.nec.co.jp>
- > Various farmers in a certain area of the US (I forget the state
- >that was mentioned) regularly discovered bloodless (drained) cattle in
- >various stages of dismemberment in the early morning. These animals had
- >had certain glands, body parts, or body fluids surgically removed with a
- >precision beyond the capabilities of all but the most advanced surgical
- >laboratories. This problem was so bad that in one place a farmer was in
- >danger of going bust due to loss of cattle. One explanation advanced was that
- >aliens were using these cattle as a convenient source of various rare
- >chemicals/tissues.
-
- I hate to see this line start on sci.military and feel worse about
- dignifying it with a comment. My brother runs a meat packing plant
- in the midwest. About 1983 cattle were being frequently found dead
- in the fields with parts "surgically removed." UFOs, or Satin worshipers
- were blamed. It was frequently on the evening news. When I asked my
- brother about it, he laughed and explained:
-
- 1. Like other businessmen, ranchers and cattlemen have production
- insurance. Cattle insurance covers abnormal losses, the barn burns,
- truckload of cattle runs off cliff, plane crashes into heard, rustlers,
- space aliens and satinists. It does not cover normal "range death"
- due to disease, lightning, snake bite, leg broken in praire dog burrow,
- etc. Range death is a normal production loss.
-
- 2. A dead cow is worth less than nothing. It can't be sold for human
- consumption. Even the rendering plants will charge to pick one up.
- A "range dead" cow can represent a $1000 loss to a rancher.
- A "UFO dead" cow is covered by insurance.
-
- 3. The incidence of cattle lost to "UFO death" is directly related to
- the willingness of the local authorities to play the game. When the
- insurance companies plot the payouts for "UFO death" on a map, it
- clearly shows that the UFOs will stop right at county lines, showing
- greater respect for law enforcement in rural county vs another.
- Odd that aliens from 1000 light years away will show such concern over
- a county line.
-
- 4. Ranchers "play the game" well. When ever a stranger asks about
- cattle death, the ranchers spin long winded tails of lights in the
- sky, government scientists etc. Just don't ask to see if there is
- any dried blood on his pocket knife.
-
- In short the whole idea of space aliens being responsible for
- cattle death is utter nonsense!
-
- Driblig Zorg
- Institute of Xenobiological Research
- Alpha Centauri
- (driblig@xeno.ac.alphac.mw)
-
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